I normally would start by going on about the time I have not posted, yes it’s been a while but you still alive. I’ve been busy with a whole lot of things and the thing that has kept me busy the most is my career. I’ve been working on climbing that ladder y’all. It is simple to do it but it’s not easy. Interestingly I don’t want to talk about careers and climbing ladders right now. I want to talk about something totally different, good thing I allow myself to.
I would like to talk about something that just came to my mind as I was driving yesterday. I was thinking about the people I’ve known in my life and the people that have known me. Over time people change right? Their priorities change, the things they used to enjoy doing changes. Some call this natural progression. As this change happens, it brings about conflict in those around us in many instances. How often have you noticed how your partner changed?
Actually that is the change I’d like to focus on, the change your romantic partner goes through that tend to mess up your relationship. What about someone changing is stopping us from understanding that as a person they are still the same (hit me up if you need clarity, just kidding, ain’t nobody got time for that), it’s just preferences that changed? I have been asked for relationship opinions and y’all know I have an opinion. The story was that a friend was having issues with how his partner had changed and she was just not the same person anymore.
My opinion at the time was not refined, yesterday I got to refine it even though it was a little late. My friend’s partner’s preferences changed and because he did not see or stop to look how his had changed, it was difficult for him to embrace the person she was progressing into. The love was there but lack of sight clouded that. Not seeing beyond what I think is in front of me. We notice a lot of things that happens to us but hardly how we show up to others.
Thinking about change in this way has actually opened my mind to a whole new perspective about the way we interact as a people. Our need to survive and progress and even prosper. How we perceive change around us, how we react to it. I am now wondering what in our way of looking at change in our relationships has caused this. I mean think of the relationship you let go because your partner changed and you did not know them anymore, then think of where they are today and if that’s the person you would want to be with. I see a few names popping up in your head, pity. If you have embraced change and you still with your partner, well done, go ahead and pat yourself on the back.
I guess we all need to start with the person in the mirror so that before we accuse someone of changing, we first look at ourselves and how we have changed and how our partners could just be reacting to our change. Maybe we just stopped doing somethings with them and they found something else to do. Whatever it is, self check helps us reach self mastery, which in turn helps us be better partners.
I have to say though that sometimes the partner just become the real them and tired of pretending just to keep you, shallow of them but these things happen hey. So the best thing one can do is to know that at the end of the day you did your best and you showed up in your best self.
However things turn out, remember to always be kind to you first, then to others.
The king AKA Coach H
King H's kingdom of wisdom 